Feeling lost? In Despair? Have no Path? Looking for a way out? This is starting to sound like bad phone-pal ad.
Is this familiar? Certainly, we’ve all been through this at one point in time or another. This feeling of being trapped or the feeling that you have to be somewhere but cannot tell where to go. Do you know who you are? Perhaps this is the reason why you’ve found this site.
The state of Seeking leaves no respite; there’s a feeling of not being able to keep up with all the possibilities and the decisions to be made. There seems no time to recuperate with the infinite images that permeate the recesses of your mind. This is the intricate pain of getting lost and finding faithlessness, the scars that have marked you as a fellow Seeker.
How can you say you are lost when, in paper, you are not doing that bad. You live. You laugh. You breathe. You love. Isn’t that enough? Are we asking for too much in dwelling in this? It is sometimes difficult to accept that what we specifically visualize can be actualized and is, in fact, grounded in reality. So, instead of contemplating about how we can get out of this void, we frequently regard this feeling of a misplaced way of life as a whimsy, a product of an overactive imagination, and not as a valid concern. We fill up our time with the litter of mindless TV, the clatter people who seem oblivious to what ails us and to any noise that can distract our thoughts from going inwards. No sound is our own. It is frightening and exhausting to listen to our own music…but until we can be familiar the freedom of solitude, we can never truly connect to the Creator and to our Purpose. Peace lies in the moment we meet our Truth and we meet ourselves.
Pause. Give yourself a minute. This simple calculation shows how much power time in your hand has. Be it a few weeks, days and down to a minute your pain will end. If it doesn’t, be at ease for you have the fallback of the human nature which is the amazing ability to homogenize. Pain is a scar of the Seeker. It reminds us of our frailty and ability to heal or forgive things that bind our wings.
In retrospect, it is this path that led me here, writing to you. The desolation and the feeling of loss that has prompted me to search for answers have come again to wrap their cold arms of uncertainty around me. Sometimes, I sit here and wonder if I’ll ever find it.
Admittedly, it has often come to a point where I don’t want to talk nor even think about it anymore. I feel tired that sometimes I can fool myself and make myself believe that I am content with the usual fare of what necessitates a good life. There’s a sense of safety and peace in this plateau of conformity and it’s difficult to once again risk getting back to the cycle of Seeking, of doing what intrigues me and what fulfills me.
The Creator is kind, but not when you have forgotten your purpose. Events happened to me that have pulled me away from the comforts of my supposed peace back to this Place. Again, there is this need to appease the uncertainties that have appeared in my life. I can either encounter them for my survival or give up and die in despair. I am again left to release all the undermining fictions about myself in order to cut through the confusion and complexity of existence.
To find light! We Seekers have a continuous wanting to disperse the clouds and get beyond the superficial appearances of calm. To do this, we must learn to be self-nourishing and constantly replenish our minds and souls as Seeking and Learning is difficult and not without cost. Act out on faith, for the Universe will open the gate to reality. Shed the trivialities and meditate. I hope you may find tranquility, peace and inner wisdom through your journey.
The Creator calls. Rely on that transcendent something you know surrounds you so you can rise above the handicaps of fear, despair and resentment. Real cleansing entails that you discover and weed out all the debris in order for healing to even begin. Revel in this time of purification.
Give yourself this minute to rethink about your past pursuits, where do you find yourself constantly being gravitated to? Acknowledge Dreams you have given up because you have been too afraid of exposing them to the light of reality. Everything will come around eventually. Let that one minute conclude itself unwittingly but with the knowledge, that until then, you have found You.
About the Author: KATHAEL is a solitary seeker of ancient cultures and myths. At the age of 18, she discovered that Wicca had been the path she had unknowingly followed all her life. She is a graduate of Computer Engineering (UP Diliman), which for a time sidetracked her from things she is most passionate about. She firmly believes that practitioners should be more focused on the presence of spirituality in magick.
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