Death In Our Midst
Author: By FrozenStar
Death is a word that creates pictures of old people dying or of bloody accidents. Usually many of us have learned to fear death because it reminds each of us of our own mortality, the end of all possibilities.
A year ago, I was told that my remaining grandmother in Manila, had finally taken her well-earned rest. Well, those are my own words. My point is that I don't usually look at death as grimly as many people do. I consider it as a rest, or more accurately, a vacation that we will all earned after living a tiring life here on good old Earth. Whether we will go to Heaven, rest in Summerland, or simply cease to exist is not really important to me; of course, these ideas are not shared by many people. As for hell, I trust in the unconditional love of God and if hell does exist, I don't believe God will send us there. Again, that is my personal opinion.
When I was young, I was very afraid of death and dying. Probably the one event that really enhanced this fear was back during my childhood years when my late grandfather was hospitalized. He just lied down, weak and helpless. He was then taken back home, but after several days, he was rushed to the hospital for emergency died a few days later. It caught me off guard. Because I was very young at that time, I never really thought much about death, and I was actually expecting our grandfather to get well pretty soon. I didn't cry or get depressed, instead I was detached to what happened probably because I was never really fond of our grandfather. Still, it stirred feelings within me, albeit unconsciously, which eventually created a fear of death and dying because I have seen and heard how hard it was to keep up with the dying one.
For many years, I have been afraid of any sign of death - from cemeteries to ghosts - the latter being my cousins’ fault when, after our late grandfather was buried they teased us about his ghost coming to haunt us. For years, I've been afraid to look at cemeteries. Even when sickness comes I am afraid because it might signify my end. Although it was not fear to the point of hysteria, rather more of a worried kind of fear. Thankfully, somewhere in high school, I lost this morbid fear. I can't really remember when and how I lost it, but glad I did.
Even though I have gained courage over the prospect of my own death, there is still a certain fear that I carry until now with me: the fear of possibly losing a beloved. But somehow it inspires me to do my best not to lose them. I am thankful enough that I am yet to experience the grievous process of losing a loved one.
But what is death and after life for me? I believe it is a passage point, similar to graduation, where one has finished a certain level and jumps into another. Fire and brimstone, you say? Not for me, I don't believe in eternal pain or eternal happiness. My belief of the after life is really rather shaky: I don't accept just a single belief about the after life. It may be that we will all end up in paradise, but it is also possible that we reincarnate, and if science is to be believed that we are just "chemical processes and nothing more," then we will simply cease to exist. Mind you, that is actually bliss since we won't be able to feel pain… at least in my perspective. All of these are possible, which is why I don't take a stand on any of them, just a plain acceptance of their possibilities.
Now, I am not afraid to die or of death for that matter, but it won't take the nervous feeling away for it will be a new experience, something which can never be truly mapped as we have mapped territories and experiences in this world. Also, nervous because I will be losing everything that I hold dear and are familiar to me: computer games, books, and of course, my crushes. Still, it is a new experience, and who knows, the Otherworld might just have lots of books and computer games in place.
About the Author: FROZENSTAR, despite his Roman Catholic origins, has always believed in the existence of magic. Lacking the needed resources and references, he turned to the internet for his quest for knowledge. He spends most of his spare time reading books in the library with genres ranging from science fiction and mystery to the occult and paranormal. Aside from being part of a theater group in school, he is also affiliated with several online pagan groups.
Death is a word that creates pictures of old people dying or of bloody accidents. Usually many of us have learned to fear death because it reminds each of us of our own mortality, the end of all possibilities.
A year ago, I was told that my remaining grandmother in Manila, had finally taken her well-earned rest. Well, those are my own words. My point is that I don't usually look at death as grimly as many people do. I consider it as a rest, or more accurately, a vacation that we will all earned after living a tiring life here on good old Earth. Whether we will go to Heaven, rest in Summerland, or simply cease to exist is not really important to me; of course, these ideas are not shared by many people. As for hell, I trust in the unconditional love of God and if hell does exist, I don't believe God will send us there. Again, that is my personal opinion.
When I was young, I was very afraid of death and dying. Probably the one event that really enhanced this fear was back during my childhood years when my late grandfather was hospitalized. He just lied down, weak and helpless. He was then taken back home, but after several days, he was rushed to the hospital for emergency died a few days later. It caught me off guard. Because I was very young at that time, I never really thought much about death, and I was actually expecting our grandfather to get well pretty soon. I didn't cry or get depressed, instead I was detached to what happened probably because I was never really fond of our grandfather. Still, it stirred feelings within me, albeit unconsciously, which eventually created a fear of death and dying because I have seen and heard how hard it was to keep up with the dying one.
For many years, I have been afraid of any sign of death - from cemeteries to ghosts - the latter being my cousins’ fault when, after our late grandfather was buried they teased us about his ghost coming to haunt us. For years, I've been afraid to look at cemeteries. Even when sickness comes I am afraid because it might signify my end. Although it was not fear to the point of hysteria, rather more of a worried kind of fear. Thankfully, somewhere in high school, I lost this morbid fear. I can't really remember when and how I lost it, but glad I did.
Even though I have gained courage over the prospect of my own death, there is still a certain fear that I carry until now with me: the fear of possibly losing a beloved. But somehow it inspires me to do my best not to lose them. I am thankful enough that I am yet to experience the grievous process of losing a loved one.
But what is death and after life for me? I believe it is a passage point, similar to graduation, where one has finished a certain level and jumps into another. Fire and brimstone, you say? Not for me, I don't believe in eternal pain or eternal happiness. My belief of the after life is really rather shaky: I don't accept just a single belief about the after life. It may be that we will all end up in paradise, but it is also possible that we reincarnate, and if science is to be believed that we are just "chemical processes and nothing more," then we will simply cease to exist. Mind you, that is actually bliss since we won't be able to feel pain… at least in my perspective. All of these are possible, which is why I don't take a stand on any of them, just a plain acceptance of their possibilities.
Now, I am not afraid to die or of death for that matter, but it won't take the nervous feeling away for it will be a new experience, something which can never be truly mapped as we have mapped territories and experiences in this world. Also, nervous because I will be losing everything that I hold dear and are familiar to me: computer games, books, and of course, my crushes. Still, it is a new experience, and who knows, the Otherworld might just have lots of books and computer games in place.
About the Author: FROZENSTAR, despite his Roman Catholic origins, has always believed in the existence of magic. Lacking the needed resources and references, he turned to the internet for his quest for knowledge. He spends most of his spare time reading books in the library with genres ranging from science fiction and mystery to the occult and paranormal. Aside from being part of a theater group in school, he is also affiliated with several online pagan groups.
© 2006 Manggagaway E-magazine. Articles may be distributed freely on the condition that all accreditation is acknowledged, no part is altered and this notice is attached and the website: http://manggagaway-central.blogspot.com is included. ~ Thank you
posted by Manggagaway @ 9:14 PM
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